i was sitting down in my office, then my co worker passed around this paper. it just make me SMILE.

DRESS CODE:
 You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
if we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying Guccy bag,we will assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes; and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you don not need a raise.

SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to doctor;you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

BATHROOM BREAKS:
Entirely to much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minutes time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the chronic : Offender Category".
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's the time needed to drink a Slim-fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, concerns, comments,complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,contemplations, and concerned should be directed elsewhere.